Are you enjoying this?

The issue of enjoying yourself came up on my Chi Kung teacher training this weekend. Joy -- as in enjoyment -- is an interesting thing. (Of course, on another level, it's totally uninteresting; it's just joy!).

If you have a practice -- be it Chi Kung, some other form of fitness training or sport, meditation or massage (giving or receiving) -- you're not likely to want to do it regularly if you don't to some extent enjoy it or get something from it which brings you enjoyment. If this enjoyment only comes from the sense of achievement or release which comes at the end, however, you're into a cyclical "no pain, no gain" activity which can easily become exhausting or never-ending. Nevertheless, there is also something to be gained from being with difficult times ... this is perhaps why the word "practice" is used; there's a sense of experimenting, of feeling things out, in order to get closer to "getting it right" -- like practising a piece on a musical instrument until you are accomplished enough to perform it, to bring it to life and make it real.

But what would it mean to "get it right?" Can joy be available at all times? I like to look at the Chinese characters for joy in considering this. There are two of them; Xi and Le. Xi is sometimes translated as elation; the character depicts singing and music making, describing the feeling we have when we typically might say we are enjoying ourselves or "having a good time." Le, however, depicts music making of a more serious nature, with ceremonial drums which are used to make contact with the spirits; it is the feeling we have when things are going as they should, in the natural order of things. In Chinese medicine, the pathology of Xi is to have too much ... whereas the pathology of Le is not to have enough. Joy is said to "loosen" our energy -- as will a good massage, a peaceful meditation or Chi Kung session; the reverse will however happen if we argue against the way things are, so that we tighten and brace ourselves against life.

So, it's really very simple; if your practice is going as it should, if you are not fighting yourself or the situation you find yourself in, then you will feel joy. If you are doing something which involves conflict or internal division, then you will not experience that looseness, that joy (Le) ... though you may of course experience a great release and elation (Xi) when the practice ends. It's a good question to work with with if you experience difficulties -- in any area of your life, not just within your practice.